Self-Discovery – The How’s and Why’s
Do you know who you are? Before this season of my life, i’m not sure I did. I’m not even sure I do now, but I am learning.
I heard once that who you are is not the same as the titles that you carry. That hit hard.
I do believe that my titles do integrate who I am though. I am able to be my highest self in my titles because of who I am.
MY TITILES:
- Wife and Mother
I can openly admit that I am not the best wife. I never tried to be the best or perfect wife. I did my best (most the time). Being a wife, I learned that I am a people pleaser. I did everything I could in every moment to attempt to please everyone. Even when there was no way to actually make everyone happy, I still tried to stand in the middle of the rising conflict and take the hits myself in an attempt to settle the emotions and turmoil. I do not like conflict and will try to avoid and calm it in any way necessary.
I also learned that I have the capabilities to be calm, patient, understanding, level-headed and empathetic. I have learned how to take a step back in conversations with my husband and kids and be objective to the situation. I can ask if they want my opinion or if they just need to vent. Huge supporter of venting right here. My kids hear me preach everyday about releasing their emotions in a safe way or to a safe person and not holding anything in.
I have organizational skills and time management. I learned a long time ago that I can manage my household by myself. My husband worked out of town for months at a time, so this was a skill I had to learn. I didn’t do it alone. My mom lived with us for 8 years and helped out in monumental ways so I could work full time. I needed help, but I could do the big stuff – manage the finances, clean, parent. I never dreamed of doing it alone, but I had to adapt and learn.
2. Manager
My daytime job is a manager for some local medical clinics. I have been with the company for 9 years and recently just entered into a department manager. I have a team of people under me and have been blessed to have worked with some of them for the length of my employment. Some of these people are some of my closest friends.
At work, I have learned respect, tolerance and acceptance. When you work with a bunch of people the chances are that you are going to be around a lot of different personalities, and the honest truth is that they aren’t always going to vibe with yours. What do you do? Walk around and gripe all day long or find a way to embrace the differences? You don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but you do have to be respectful. The number of times I have said that to people on my team is mind blowing.
Humility. 10/10 recommend this for everyone. Learn how to be humble. That is something that I even started to incorporate in my new hire trainings. In order to succeed, you’re going to need to be humble. You do not know everything, you will never know everything and don’t every have the expectation that I will know everything. It isn’t something that I say to try to provoke fear, but more of setting the honest answer to 90% of the problems that I can predict that they will encounter. One day, just like our kids, they will realize I was right.
3. Human
This title encompasses so many things.
I am a sinner- ties right back into not being perfect. I do however strive for more from myself.
I am a lover. I love big, deep and hard.
I am a forgiver. I understand that everyone makes mistakes, big and small, but everyone deserves forgiveness and second chances. I am much more focused on change of actions vs words.
I am outdoorsy. I love being outside. Fresh air, cool breeze, all the smells. My absolute favorite place in the world is next to water. I don’t care if it is a lake, the ocean, a river – doesn’t matter. If I can put my feet in the water, my entire body instantly relaxes, and my sole is at ease.
I am a Christian. I deeply believe in God. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and with corrective action and repentance, God will forgive us. He will also teach us lessons and guide us when we are off course or certain chapters need to close. If God can forgive us, why can’t we forgive each other? I have learned Faith and trust in God. It provides me with a solid foundation to lean on in my hard moments.
This is who I am. My most authentic self. That is something that I used to hide from people, especially in my teenage and younger years. I was always under the idea that I was not enough, or I wouldn’t be accepted by being myself. I am growing into that.
The truth is that you don’t have to be someone else. You are good enough just how you are.